Birthday Card Czar

At one point in time, The Powers That Be in our office thought it would be a great idea to give everyone a birthday card signed by everyone else in the department every time somebody’s birthday rolled around – EVERY YEAR. But what they didn’t plan on is how routine and expected this has become, not to mention the fact that I’m usually the one who is tasked (among my bazillion other duties) to be the ‘Birthday Card Czar”, lest anyone not get a birthday card.

So, today I was asked to circulate a card to be signed for Betsy’s birthday. And here’s the memo I emailed out to the group. (Well, sort of.)
___________

To: Department Distribution List
From: Corey James
Subject: Betsy’s Birthday

Team,

FYI – Betsy’s birthday is this Saturday, March 20. When you have a moment, please stop by my desk to sign her birthday card. If I’m not at my desk, please look for a florescent orange file folder – that’s where the card will be ‘hidden’ so it won’t ruin the surprise. Of course, whenever you see an orange file folder on my desk, that means there’s a birthday card circulating, and if your birthday is coming up, it’s probably for you.

And as always with these b’day card requests, I usually ask you to write a nice comment on the card because so-and-so has been such a great person in our department, blah, blah, blah...(wank, wonk, wunk).

As an aside, I want you to know that being the Birthday Card Czar cuts into the little time that I DO have to finish everything I need to get done everyday. And do we really need a cake and a team-bonding exercise game to celebrate every birthday? We’re all adults, right? I mean, if I have to play Human Bingo one more time, I’m gonna take off work whenever there is a birthday, so I don’t have to play again.

Oh, and by the way, MY birthday is next month, but don’t worry about circulating a birthday card for me – I’ll take care of it.

Thanks,
C.

PS – Please don’t be absentminded and put off signing the birthday card until two days after said birthday. The card will have already been delivered. (You know who you are!)

[OOPS! I hit ‘send’ without taking Betsy’s name off the distribution list. It’ll ruin the surprise!]
___________

To: Betsy Shaw
From: Corey James
Subject: Birthday Card

Betsy,

Please disregard that last group email I sent about signing a birthday card for you. However, when the card is delivered, we all would just be so ticked pink if you would act SO surprised and start crying with joy (like everyone else does every time we give them a birthday card – every year.

Wanna have lunch tomorrow?

Thanks,
C.