Observations On A Wednesday

I’m still suffering with a cold that wacked me upside the head yesterday, and my mood is swinging somewhere between witty and bitchy. (Or it may just be the cold medicine that’s got me loopy.)

Why is it that people who talk LOUD also WHISPER loud. Hello? I can STILL hear you!

Don’t call me on the phone and then put me on hold – I WILL hang up on you. If you’re already distracted, what makes you think I’ll wait until you get your mess together.

She saw me make a turkey sandwich for lunch and said to me, “Are you a vegetarian, because I always see you eating either turkey or chicken?” (Yeah, that’s why I’m eating this dead bird.)

High definition television really brings out the details. Never before could you actually see the grooves that the butter knife makes from applying the makeup.

How can dogs give unconditional love, but we sometimes find it a challenge?

I just saw a CD player advertised for $19.99 – proof positive that if you just wait 20 years, you can save thousand$ off the retail price!

Flipping through the channels, I saw Donny Osmond holding a disco ball trophy. Please tell me the 70’s are NOT making a comeback.

When a local tire dealership is busted for also running an after hours illegal gambling joint in secret rooms behind towers of tires...that’s KOUNTRY with a ‘k’.

I’m sooooo tired of seeing commercials for erectile dysfunction featuring naked people sitting in bathtubs in the middle of nowhere. Oh yeah, whenever I sit in a bathtub in the middle of a cornfield in Iowa, that’s EXACTLY what comes to my mind.

I’ll never understand why some people send me an email and then call me a minute later to ask if I’ve read it. Just ask me on the phone what it is you need.

I never raise my voice in the office, but I just shouted, “Stop yelling across the office” at a co-worker who is always talking so loud. Others giggled. I guess they were thinking the same thing. Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now NOW? CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW!?

My goodness, I AM bitchy today.