Madtexterites

9

Spring walk-about

| 20 March, 2010
Welcome Spring! Today, on this first day of Spring, many of my blog buddies are getting outside and snapping snaps of their 'hoods and things. So, of course, I have to join in on the fun. It's kind of like a meme that was never planned out, but turned out to be fun.

Here are some snaps I took while walking around my neighborhood of Inman Park in Atlanta.

Enjoy...

Turtles sunning themselves at the pond. By the way, as luck turns out, this pix is the perfect size for saving it as your desktop picture.

An old water fountain dated back to who knows when. The actual fountain part looks art deco, and art deco is one of my favorite styles. Tamara de Lempicka, where art though? I don't know if it works, but it's leaking water. Part of me wanted to steal it and put it in my living room. I think it would make a great conversation piece.

Every time I go on walk-about in Inman Park with a camera, I usually photograph these stairs. I don't know what it is about them; they just intrigue me.

Part of Inman Park's charm is that it has these Victorian homes that are still kept up and decorated with bright colors today. And who wouldn't want to live in a purple house. I mean, come on.

You KNOW it's Spring if these little suckers are blooming. They can grow anywhere.

This was my photo find of the day - a tree branch that looks like an open hand. Beautiful.

The sign on this building says 'Trolley Barn'. Maybe trolleys ran along this wide road back in the day. I just think it's incredible to see a building like this in modern times still looking fresh and alive as it was back then. Maybe they parked/repaired trolleys here. I'm not sure.

These things don't work. I think these crosswalk buttons are a giant government conspiracy to make us feel better and make us think we can actually control the traffic. As if!

Another Inman Park bungalow.

And another colorful home...this one day-glo yellow. Is that a rainbow flag I see? Inman Park MUST be gay-friendly, otherwise this neighborhood wouldn't look so dang adorable.

This is the trunk of a Crape Myrtle - Atlanta's unofficial tree. They're everywhere and the trunks look like a masterful piece of sculpture. Way to go, Mother Nature!

When I was a kid, each Spring I used to pick these flower stalks for my mom on the way home from school. By the way, today is her birthday.

A passionately pink tree down the street from my house.

I wish my flower bed looked like this.

Well, that was my first day of Spring walk-about. Hope you enjoyed it.


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6

Toblerone Tasty

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In the privacy of your home, the privacy of being by yourself behind closed doors, away from everyone else...don't you just love a BIG...Toblerone?

I do.

Today, I was in the check-out line at Trader Joe's buying pre-packaged organic frozen foods (I don't have time to cook from scratch every night, Beeyatches) and that's when it caught my eye - I bent down and SNATCHED it off the candy rack - a Toblerone!

Although I'm not a big sweet freak (more of a salty/stinky cheese/crisp kind of person), I DO enjoy Toblerone chocolate. MMMMM....mmmmmm!

Probably because it reminds me of when I used to be a cruise ship host wayyyyy back in the day (circa 1910). I was so impressionable back then. A couple days a week, as a cruise staff member, we were allowed to shop at the Cruise Staff Store, which was located behind an iron door, a deck below sea level.

To this day, I think my loyalty to brands was forged way back when.

My usual 'staples' at the time were Degree Deodorant, Gillette Razors, and Toblerone chocolates. There wasn't much of a selection; you just had to buy what was available on ship.

Which leads me to another point - when you have a captive audience, you can create in them a loyalty that is unlike any other.

Do you have a bizarre loyalty to a brand or product that you reminisce over? And why? I'd love to know.


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5

Photo Tag!

| 18 March, 2010
Thank you, Debra, from She Who Seeks for sharing this wonderful idea that is circling the Web. A lot of trends circulate throughout the blogosphere, and many are kind of corny, but this one's a keeper. Please take a moment to do this. I'd love to hear your story.

Photo Tag Rules:

1. Go to your first photo file and pick the 10th photo in it.

2. Tell the story behind the photo.

3. Tag 5 other people to do likewise.

Here's my photo:


This is a picture of me and my colleagues (friends really) having dinner at Revolution in New York City circa 1997. From right to left: Karla (our manager), me [I was so young then], Elizabeth, Shlomi (aka 'Mel Gibson') and Muhammad's wife. (Muhammad must be taking the photo.)

That was a great time in my life. I had moved to NYC nearly two years before and I was having the time of my life. Small town boy hits the BIG city and woo-hoo!...I had a blast!

Shlomi now lives back in Israel and Karla lives in Lebanon (I think), and both are Facebook buddies of mine.

Here are the five people I'm tagging, and I hope they post their photo tag pix, so we can all get to know them better:

Bob at I Should Be Laughing

Candy at Candy's Daily Dandy

Michael at Michael Rivers: The Blog

Jeanne at The Raisin Chronicles

Josh at Josh Is Trashy


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5

"Attention Walmart Shoppers..."

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"Attention, Walmart customers: All black people, leave the store now."

I don’t know if you’ve heard about this or not, but that phrase was reportedly announced over the public-address system at a Walmart in New Jersey this past Sunday evening.

It is certainly causing an uproar, especially since Walmart has had a shaky relationship with people of color over the years.

This got me thinking about things I’ve seen at Walmart (the few times that I’ve actually been in a Walmart, mind you).

But if you follow The People of Walmart, you’ll understand where I’m coming from, and I’d like to present to you the announcements that would make me bust out laughing if I heard them come over the public-address system while shopping at Walmart:

“Attention, Walmart customers: Everyone that is dressed like a leprechaun, leave the store now."

“Attention, Walmart customers: Everyone that isn’t wearing a shirt, leave the store now."

“Attention, Walmart customers: Everyone that is a hotmess, leave the store now."

“Attention, Walmart customers: All drag queens, leave the store now."

“Attention, Walmart customers: Everyone that has only one tooth in their mouth, leave the store now."

“Attention, Walmart customers: Everyone that is wearing stirrup pants, leave the store now."

“Attention, Walmart customers: Everyone that is barefoot, leave the store now."

“Attention, Walmart customers: Everyone that is wearing leopard prints , leave the store now."

“Attention, Walmart customers: Everyone that has a farm animal with them, leave the store now."

“Attention, Walmart customers: Everyone dressed like a hooker, leave the store now."

“Attention, Walmart customers: Everyone showing their ass crack, leave the store now."

“Attention, Walmart customers: Everyone that has a mullet, leave the store now." (Oh, damn...everyone left.)

Now, you're probably thinking I'm just being cruel, but cleaning yourself up before you go out in public, no matter what your station in life, is just good etiquette.

What would you like to hear announced over the PA system at Walmart?
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8

Made in Angina - Zapi Toothbrush Sanitizer

| 17 March, 2010
As usual hubby took a business trip and, of course, he returns to give me a clever gift. This time around I got a Zapi toothbrush sanitizer. (I don't know what he's trying to say to me. I'm a clean, white teeth, great dental health fanatic.)

But it's such a clever thing...the device, with its quirky, ninja-like mechanism "eliminates 99.9% of germs and bacteria". (No company would claim 100% - that's just a lawsuit waiting to happen.)

So, now I have a Hi-Ya Zapi! A device that I can shove my toothbrush into to kill the germs!

However, I scrutinize product packaging, especially

if it's from China. This product came with an instruction guide that included an image that was a bit different from the image on the actual device.

The 'ninja guy' on the actual product was friendly. The 'ninja guy; on the instruction guide was vicious looking with mean eyes. (See the mean eyes?)

Typical Chinese bad translation of the English language. The Chinese industry is cranking out so many products that they don't care if consistency/korrectedness is a priority.

But then again, it could be a genius move, because Americans love kitch products - I think this product is very clever, and cute!

Need I say more.

(I hope this thing actually sanitizes my toothbrush, but I hope it doesn't include lead poisoning.)


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4

Birthday Card Czar

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At one point in time, The Powers That Be in our office thought it would be a great idea to give everyone a birthday card signed by everyone else in the department every time somebody’s birthday rolled around – EVERY YEAR. But what they didn’t plan on is how routine and expected this has become, not to mention the fact that I’m usually the one who is tasked (among my bazillion other duties) to be the ‘Birthday Card Czar”, lest anyone not get a birthday card.

So, today I was asked to circulate a card to be signed for Betsy’s birthday. And here’s the memo I emailed out to the group. (Well, sort of.)
___________

To: Department Distribution List
From: Corey James
Subject: Betsy’s Birthday

Team,

FYI – Betsy’s birthday is this Saturday, March 20. When you have a moment, please stop by my desk to sign her birthday card. If I’m not at my desk, please look for a florescent orange file folder – that’s where the card will be ‘hidden’ so it won’t ruin the surprise. Of course, whenever you see an orange file folder on my desk, that means there’s a birthday card circulating, and if your birthday is coming up, it’s probably for you.

And as always with these b’day card requests, I usually ask you to write a nice comment on the card because so-and-so has been such a great person in our department, blah, blah, blah...(wank, wonk, wunk).

As an aside, I want you to know that being the Birthday Card Czar cuts into the little time that I DO have to finish everything I need to get done everyday. And do we really need a cake and a team-bonding exercise game to celebrate every birthday? We’re all adults, right? I mean, if I have to play Human Bingo one more time, I’m gonna take off work whenever there is a birthday, so I don’t have to play again.

Oh, and by the way, MY birthday is next month, but don’t worry about circulating a birthday card for me – I’ll take care of it.

Thanks,
C.

PS – Please don’t be absentminded and put off signing the birthday card until two days after said birthday. The card will have already been delivered. (You know who you are!)

[OOPS! I hit ‘send’ without taking Betsy’s name off the distribution list. It’ll ruin the surprise!]
___________

To: Betsy Shaw
From: Corey James
Subject: Birthday Card

Betsy,

Please disregard that last group email I sent about signing a birthday card for you. However, when the card is delivered, we all would just be so ticked pink if you would act SO surprised and start crying with joy (like everyone else does every time we give them a birthday card – every year.

Wanna have lunch tomorrow?

Thanks,
C.

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9

This IS It!

| 14 March, 2010
You know, it's been nearly nine months since Michael Jackson died. No matter what you think of of the man, how he died, what he has been accused of in his life, he has been a force in creativity of the likes we have never seen.

I came to the Jackson phenomenon later in life. As a preacher's kid, I was forbidden to listen to secular music, but when 1983 rolled around and I had my little clock radio, I listened to secular music by my bed as I laid down to sleep. When I heard "Thriller", I knew it was a song that transcended space and time. It was not a 'black' song; it was not a 'white' song...it was a song that was interplanetary. It defied the 'norm'. It was brilliance.

Over the past decade or so, I had lost track of Michael Jackson, but because of his abrupt death several months ago, I have been reminded of him as a mainstream pop idol. The last time I had him in my mind was when Princess Diana died. I was getting ready to do an all-night shift at work (11:00pm - 7:00am) and I was playing his CD. In particular, the track "History", over and over again. It was something about the lyrics that drew me in. Here I was a simple hotel clerk getting ready to do an all-night shift, just so I could be there in the morning to greet guests as they checked themselves out of a $525-a-night hotel room (more than I paid in a month for rent). His song gave me a sense of pride. It made me feel like no matter how low my station in life at the time, what I did, what I gave of myself was important...I was making history.

It was that night that SHE died.

I will never forget that. It was almost as if The Fates had brought me to an anthem of music that was to foretell of something that was about to happen.

Diana died that night.

This evening, I finally decided to watch "This Is It", the documentary that shows us how Michael Jackson was preparing for his 'last' tour. And I am beside myself. Watching the movie, I am humbled that he was such a perfectionist in planning, performing, and showmanship.

Whatever he has brought to the world, or whatever he has brought upon himself, you must give him one thing...he IS talent PERSONIFIED. I only wish the rest of us could be so uninhibited.

Remember, all we have is NOW. It's not the past, it's not the future. Life is NOW!

Tomorrow is NOT promised.

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2

Humility Is a Big Gulp

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Remember when having $5 in your pocket made you feel rich? No? Well, I do. When I was a kid, we was po. Don't get me wrong, I never wanted for anything, but every Christmas when my Grandma Joyce sent each of us kids a Christmas card with a crisp new $5 bill inside, I thought I had hit the jackpot. I waited for that $5 every year, so I could put it toward buying presents for my parents and brother and sister. Giving gifts has always been a great source of joy for me.

Today, I flashed back to those days when I pulled the money out of my pocket and counted it: $45.00 (two twenties and five singles). A far cry from scrounging together two quarters and two pennies so I could jump on my sister's yellow-flowered bicycle (with a banana seat) and ride to 7-Eleven to buy a 32oz. Big Gulp.

Sometimes, I feel like I live in a vacuum. Maybe it's me getting older, maybe it's sometimes taking for granted what it is that is my life. But it's the moments where pulling $5 out of my pocket makes me remember where I came from, and reminds me that humility is something we should all be reminded of.



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1

I'm bored

| 11 March, 2010
I don't feel much like writing today, so please humor me...


C is for Certifiable
O is for Ornery
R is for Resilient
E is for Extraterrestrial
Y is for YO!

J is for Joker
A is for Animated
M is for Madtexter
E is for WhatEver the dang hEck you want it to bE!
S is for Scottish (Irish & English – I’m a mutt)



Tell me somthing about you.
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10

The Letters No. 5

| 10 March, 2010
The Letters series have been an honest look into a past relationship of mine...at a time when people STILL wrote letters. Not email, but actual hand-written letters. This series continues with letters that an ex of my wrote when I was 24-years-old and working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean.

I give you Letter No. 5:

[This time, it's a letter that is a one-pager. Not the usual 3-pager as in the previous letters. If you've been following this series, you'll understand.]

____

September 7, 1994

Dear Corey,

I hope that this letter reaches you by Saturday, but I doubt that it does. If not, please know that I am sorry and that I miss you terribly. I have received your latest letter dated August 30, 1994 and gather from it that you have decided to carry out your contract. [I had a three month contract with Norwegian Cruise Line. Can you believe it? A contract to work on a cruise line?] Good for you! I think you will be happier in the long run. [What did he mean by that?]

I went to Rehobeth Beach this weekend with Randy, Sandro, Bobby & Loukis. What a great time. It was very relaxing not to have to deal with the immaturities of my typical friends, i.e., Andre [his roommate - I can't believe he talked so bad about him. He seemed to be a nice guy.], Tommy, Schmuck, etc... Loukis and I did too much shopping. I spent over $600 on paintings, nick-nacs and clothes. Sometimes a girl just has to shop!!!

We went out all three nights to the Blue Moon for happy hour and on to the Renegade for dancing [as if I know anything about these places, having never been to Rehobeth Beach before]. What a blast. On the first night, Randy [hotmess] was passed out by 8:30, so we did not let him drink on the next and only moderate amounts on the third. I set my limit at four drinks per night and was able to maintain my goal. Sandro and Bobby danced the entire time while Loukis and I hung out outside where it was cool. Those places get so hot...not that the men would have anything to do with it. We met three really nice guys while there. [Did you really? So did I. More about that later...] One was from Puerto Rico, one from Cypress and the other from Baltimore. They were a lot of fun to hang out with. Basically, it was a great time! [I'll bet.] Wish you would have been there with me! [Do you REALLY?]

Well, Andre and Tommy are no longer speaking because Tommy's boyfriend was really rude to Andre and Andre told him where to go. Now Tommy is trying to be buddy-buddy to me so that I will smooth things over. [Save that drama for yo mama!] I made it perfectly clear that I do not want involved. The saga continues...[Didn't I know it?!]

I want you to know that I am patiently awaiting your return.
Take care of yourself and be careful out there on the ocean. [It was safer on the ocean than where you were, Matt!]
I want to hold you [And tell me that it's over?]

Sincerely,
Matt

[Again with 'sincerely'...it's fading.]

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12

Circling My Head

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As I’m writing this, my eyes are welling up with tears, because it is with heartfelt and profound sadness that I share with you the loss of one of my dearest blog pals. Renee Khan, who wrote an engaging, honest, and intimate blog (CirclingMyHead) about her long and arduous battle with cancer, passed away yesterday.

Over the past year, we both connected through reading each other’s blogs and I have never felt a friendship like this from someone I have never met in person. I still carry around the Christmas card that she sent me, and the artwork from her friend, Tessa Edwards, that she sent me hangs in a place of honor in my home.

My connection to the blogosphere is certainly darker today because her continuous written words are now silent, but I find solace knowing that what she has written is still out there. Those who have been affected by cancer, whether personally or have family members who are fighting this disease, may still stumble across her blog and read her sage words of wisdom.

Some of my followers also followed Renee, and if you are reading this please take a moment of silence to remember her and keep her and her family in your thoughts and prayers.

Oh, and Renee, if you’re able to read this in some spiritual way...I’m turning my head to the side, lifting my left eyebrow, pursing my lips and giving you ‘the look’. (It’s a private joke between us.)

I’ll see you on the other side, my Sweet.
_________


Here are Renee's words on how she described herself. I think this says it all:


Renee – A to Z
A = Age (53 years old)

B = Bed size (Queen)

C = Chore you hate (cleaning a turkey pan)

D = Dog (unfortunately do not have one)

E = Essential to start your day (cancer medications)

F = Favourite colour (butter yellow)

G = Gold (wedding rings)

H = Height (5 feet)

I = I’ve come to learn (love)

J = Judge (there but for the grace of God go I)

K = Kids (Angelique, Nadalene, and Nathan)

L = Living (the best way I can)

M = Mood (angry)

N = Nicknames (Lover and Pudd)

O = Owl (family totem)

P = Peeve (ingratitude)

Q = Quote (There are many paths to the same God.)

R = Reckless (never)

S = Siblings (eight sisters and four brothers)

T = Time you wake up (7:20)

U = Unhappy (less often than happy)

V = Vegetable you ate last (green beans and tomato)

W = Want (Jacquie to regain motion)

X = Xenophobic (no way)

Y = Yearn (to have a conversation with Sheldon)

Z = Zealous (over my family)

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5

Rush Limbaugh Says He'll Leave the Country!

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Conservative talk radio hostess, Rush Limbaugh, says if the health care bill passes “I am leaving the country. I’ll go to Costa Rica [for medical treatment].”

Oh, Rushy! Say it ain’t so. You know we all adore and wait on baited breath for your knee jerk, out-of-the-arse Oxycontin-fueled, verbal diarrhea.

What will we do?

Who will give us our opinions?

Who will we look to for spiritual guidance in your medical absence?

Oh, I forgot...there’s always Sarah Palin. Now, SHE is a true patriot! (Read: Yet another American who ‘confuses politics with patriotism’.

Sincerely,
Your Loving Lemming
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